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A Heart That Holds On

Everybody told me that the first month would suck.  And I knew it would be a challenge.  I mean, I’ve never been away from home for more than a couple of weeks at a time.  And I’ve never been away from family for more than a week at a time.  So when God said, “Hey Amy.  What’s up?  You should go out of the country for a semester with people you don’t know and fight human trafficking,” I kinda knew what I was getting into.

But holy cow.  I’ve only been gone for three weeks and I’ve already seen so much.  September has been a huge struggle, especially since I’m usually so emotionally stable.  I hear about the way these people live and get so heartbroken and frustrated…then I’m alright; then I get homesick and wonder what I’m doing here…then I’m okay; then I focus on all the injustice I see around me…then I’m okay again.  And the cycle never seems to end.

So it has been a month (or almost a month) of me feeling a whole lot more than I usually feel, and trying to figure out what the heck to do with these emotions.

 After reading 1 Peter this morning, I came to a conclusion.  Peter says, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12 &13).

Mmmmhhmm.  God always knows what to say.  And this week, he said, “Dude.  You’re suffering for me.  it is the greatest suffering in the world, because this kind of pain is worth it.  Hold on and tough it out, because I’ll show you some crazy things.”

So I will rejoice.  I walk through some dark places and I see some terrible things.  But I cling to the hope that God will come through.  He has never broken a promise.  So I will rejoice.  He has already defeated the enemy, and all this pain will be erased someday.  So I will rejoice, and my heart will hold on.

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