Flying Purple Platypus…

*This blog has nothing to do with a flying, purple platypus or anything of the sort. Got your attention though, huh?* haha

Well, here we are at the half-way point with new perspective and serious writers block… Why is it so hard to explain what happened to me? I know. 'Cuz God is too big for words. 'Cuz God's works in me so far are too life-changing that I'm not even sure I fully understand yet.

Something I've always struggled with is that "spiritual high" we all seem to get at camps, missions trips, and things of the sort. Over the past week, Satan used this to get in my head. He repeatedly whispered the lie into my ear that this trip will turn out like all the rest. That I'll learn so much here, but that I'm not strong enough, that God's not strong enough, to continue this transformation back home. I was afraid I'll fall back into everything I was doing back home, and that everything I've learned here will be a waste. Yet, God just keeps reminding me of the difference between all the countlesss trips before this one… my heart! I feel different. I can almost literally feel God molding and shaping my heart to look like what He wants out of it.

I can remember, almost to the day, that I started to feel my heart begin to harden towards the church, "religious" people, and even God. I remember sitting in our middle school youth group on Wednessday night the summer before 7th grade, and having to sit there and listen to why our youth pastor wasn't leading us anymore. I remember the rumors that turned out to be true, and, most clearly, I remember the betrayal I felt. That was almost 6 1/2 years ago. My heart had 6 1/2 years to harden bit by bit before I got here. And, believe me, it definitely did. Now i realize why all those trips turned out exactly the same as the one before it and the one before that. I locked my heart behind a brick wall, and I wasn't about to let anything get through. I controlled the gate, I controlled who I let in, and I controlled how much I let out. And yet, here I am in a foreign country with a whole different language, culture, and alphabet having to rely on whatever God wants. The only thing I remotely have control over here is how I want to spend my Saturdays… God has thrown me into a situation where I have to completely change the way I think about life, God, and control. I have no choice but to give up my heart and my mind, and I wouldn't dream of taking those back now. (As if God was really going to let me. HA!) Romans 12:2 says, "Don't copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is." This tranformation I've got going here cannot be stopped just because I change physical locations. God has completely changed how I think and view Him and His plan and His people. Why would I want to miss out on the good, pleasing, PERFECT plan God has for me? Just to hold onto some fleeting control? I don't think so.

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