Get Dirty and Dive Deep



      So this week in Cambodia God caused me to stretch further than I ever could've imagined. God didn't wait until the middle or end of the week to start pulling me out of my comfort zone. He started with Sunday of course and the process continued throughout the week.  Sunday afternoon we tried "feedback" a different way. Our leader's gave us a challenge to let one another know the things we could change and work on personally. I will be honest, "feedback" has always been a struggle for me especially since this past week God had spoken through my teammates giving me about all the feedback I could handle. I went into what should have been a growing time with my group with an attitude and heart that really didn't want to hear anything they had to say. I really do appreciate my teammates and everything they have had to say because it has truly helped mold and grow me in so many areas, but this week's "feedback" just seemed to be all about me and things I could work on. I really wasn't ready for anything more. My group was completely silent for about the first ten minutes, so I decided to throw myself in the fire and give my teammates the opportunity to let me know if there was anything I could work on or change. Basically to just bring anything they had to the table. That of course broke the ice and gave my team the chance to give me all the feedback I wasn't asking for. I really had a rough day Sunday afternoon. God gave me so much to work on and he continued to challenge me throughout the week.


       I have been so comfortable teaching my English class and have loved every minute of it, which should have told me a change was coming because God never wants us to be comfortable to the point of not growing. I just didn't know how much the change would really effect me. This week I found out my little man, Sotan, wont be taking my English class anymore.  My heart broke into a million pieces. I know it seems incredibly small to most, but he has helped me in so many areas. I know God uses everything we go through in life to bring us to a breaking point so we are pliable for him to use in a greater way and purpose. It was so hard for me to see in the midst of everything. 


       As I was walking through the muddy water to the center this week, God spoke to me. God said we are all going to have to walk through challenging times in our lives we can't understand that are going to stretch us to feel like our head is never going to be above water, but He will always walk with us. Romans 10:15 says, "And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, "How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!" Of all places, I didn't expect this intimate moment with God to be in the midst of muddy water up to my knees, that smells like a porta-potty, is so dark, and has so many things floating through it that you know it can't be just mud. It was the perfect time for Him to speak to me and to help me understand why I walked through all of the tough things I did this week.


     I began to apply the "feedback" to my life that I got this week from my team. My group started seeing the changes I began to make and they were so encouraged how quickly I applied what they had shared with me to change in my life. God taught me so much in such a short seven days and I feel not only so much closer to Him, but like a completely different person as well. 


     So as God has brought so many challenges before me this week, I want to bring one to you: No matter how deep you are right now, go deeper. Don't worry about what's going to get wet. Don't stop at the point where you can keep your feet underneath you. Get swept away. What are you holding onto? What are your hesitations on living a more Spirit-led life of faith? What illusion of control are you clinging to? GO ALL IN! Pray that today will be the beginning of a deeper relationship with God. Pray that He will continue to call you to dive in and let him take complete control of your life so He can mold you into the person He wants you to become. 


More Articles in This Topic

The missing piece

Commiting Suicide

Fruit of His Spirit